I used to suffer from terrible gas pains, they were the worst. I can’t really explain it, but if I laid down and turned on my side I could relieve the pain by passing gas, yes, farting away the pain. It was amazing.

ali mac fart camel farts cameltoe GIF

Now a days, it’s not really the same thing. Do people with ostomies fart? Yes, we fart. However, our stoma doesn’t have a sphincter, meaning, I have no control. It’s why we have to have a bag sealed around the stoma.

You normal indoor plumbing people have a sphincter, and therefore control when you go. Ever hold in a fart? Thank your sphincter.

I miss being able to fart when I need to, I now have to wait for the gas to come out, and I can’t really shake it out. The problem is my stoma lets gas out whenever, sometimes quietly and sometimes it can get a little noisy. I can put my hand over my stoma and muffle it if I’m in a meeting or somewhere with people and it’s quiet. If I’m home or by myself, I don’t care. I let my stoma sing!

When I do fart, you can’t smell it. The bag is sealed and that keeps in odor. My bag will balloon up, gas fills up the volume of an empty space (science). You won’t notice, I will. I will “burp” the bag, let out the gas, when I go to the bathroom. The beauty of this is that you can’t smell my farts, I can release the odor elsewhere and use an air fresher to cover my tracks.

I wouldn’t trade my ostomy for indoor plumbing, but I miss being able to fart on my own! If you have an ostomy you know what I’m talking about. There’s a certain joy in farting that we no longer have. Don’t take your farts for granted.

Did I say farts too much? Also, yes, girls fart. Deal with it.

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